Run
by Morphy
Summary: Fighting fate is hard especially when it's telling you that you're in love with your mortal enemy but it doesn't mean you can't try. Femslash LeahxAlice wolf/vamp
1. Run

**A/N Hey guys I'm back with a new chapter based story, I started this because I liked taking a look at Leah's character and this was just a funny idea that snowballed anyways I hope you all enjoy and big thanks to Beetlebum101 for being an amazing beta and an even better friend:] **

Chapter 1 – Run

"_I don't know what we're doing, I don't know what we've done. But the fire is coming So I think we should run." – Daughter – Run _

"Leah… Leah, you have to calm down."

Sam's voice filled the air as I paced the field where we stood, trying to absorb the ridiculousness of the situation. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I never would have believed it. The slick grass, dampened with the morning rainfall, made each step glide. I couldn't stop my mind from reeling. I was just out for a run and now I don't control my own fate. I looked to my brother and he wasn't mad like me; he just seemed in shock. A fear filled his eyes and I instantly blamed Sam for that fear. I felt like he was taking away what little childhood Seth had left.

"You don't have the right to tell me what to do, Sam!" He lost that right when he left me for my own cousin. I took a step towards him, pressing my hand against his chest and pushing him back.

He only rolled his shoulder back. Paul, who stood to Sam's right, seemed to flare with anger, his bare chest heaving, his erratic breaths clouding the air. He stared at me, narrowing his eyes. I had known Paul my whole life; we grew up together and yet, I didn't know this man who stood in front of me. Is that what would happen to me? I'd become a lackey to Sam? Paul shivered notably as I pushed Sam again, who took the opportunity to grab my wrist when I got distracted looking over Paul.

"Stop it," Sam grumbled, squeezing my wrist until I pulled it from his grasp.

"Look at him," I gestured to Paul, who looked as if he was trying to control a panic attack. "He can't control himself. He's not even himself anymore."

Sam and Embry looked at him but they were not surprised. I looked back to my brother, watching as he simply gulped.

"He's still learning to control his instincts, Leah. It takes time." Sam's gravelly tone used to be calming but now it was just enraging.

"I don't want to be one of you!" I screamed into the wilderness, continuing to pace. I felt like falling to my knees but I wouldn't show Sam that weakness.

"I don't choose it; you and Seth show the signs: high fever… quick to anger…taller…bigger appetite. If you want to blame someone, blame the Cullen's. It is proximity to vampires that awakens the wolf gene."

I threw my hands into my hair. Filthy vampires. Why would they do this to us? "Well, I will ask them to move before the change happens. Maybe I could stop it," I argued.

"It's already begun, Leah. There is no stopping it." Sam punctuated the word, 'no,' his bare chest rising and falling drastically.

"I can try." I couldn't just become a wolf and let them hear my thoughts; let this thing control who I am. I stalked back towards home, grabbing Seth by the arm of his jacket, tugging him out of his daze.

"Leah!" Sam's voice echoed through the clearing. He jogged, easily catching up with us. "I won't let you go there unprotected. There are rules."

"You don't control me, Sam," I bit back. _Not yet_, my subconscious added.

Sam stopped following us as we cut into the tree line. A few silence filled minutes later we entered the small house looking for my mother. She was sitting on the couch; no TV, just waiting… waiting for this.

"You knew about this?" I asked, appalled. My mother, my own mother, kept this from me.

"Leah, calm down." She approached me and I covered my mouth, unsure of what to say. She rested her hand on my shoulder but it did little to calm me.

"You did this to me. Not just me, to Seth, too. How… how could you?" I backed away from her. She could have told us; we could have left.

"Leah, this is an honor. It's part of your ancestry. It connects you to our people."

I breathed through my clasps hands. "Don't I get a choice? What if I don't want this?"

"Life hands us a lot of things we don't choose, Leah. That's part of growing up."

I can't believe she's going to give me this bullshit about life. "Yeah, and becoming a giant wolf, having to bow to an alpha and have a bunch of people know your thoughts and not get to choose who you love, is that part of growing up, too?" I rattled off the information I was given by Sam under an hour ago. My mind still denied the truth of what I was saying, even as I spoke the words aloud.

I didn't let her reply, knowing it was useless. I just walked to my room, slamming the door behind me. I settled on the bed, crossing my arms over my chest and trying to take all this in. I took a deep breath. _Why me? Why did I have to be the first female wolf?_ My thoughts moaned. It was odd, now knowing there was this dormant part of me… this _wolf_. Anger filled me again; I couldn't control it. It was like feeling my blood boil from the inside. I swiped at an old purple lamp on my bedside table, knocking it to the floor. It hit the ground with a loud crash, smashing the fragile ceramic body, which now lay in pieces on the floor.

"Leah, what was that? Are you alright?" My mother's voice rang through the small house.

I didn't answer. I just walked out of my room and down the hall, passing her on the way to the door. I stopped, about to grab a jacket, when I realized I don't even feel the cold anymore.

"Leah… Leah, where are you going?"

"Out," I said, opening the door, letting it fall closed as I jogged away. I just kept going until I was in a full run. I hit the beach within minutes, the dirt turning to stone under my feet, making it difficult to run so I changed to a walk.

I always felt better outside. I closed my eyes, taking in the ocean air, but dangerous thoughts crept in. Did I really prefer being outside or was that the wolf side of me? I tried to think if I was always like this or if this was a new feeling, but I couldn't remember. So I just kept walking, thinking I would get tired but I never did. I got to Forks after thirty minutes and continued to where I thought the vampires lived. I cut into the woods just outside the city limits, climbing over roots and rocks, heading uphill, just following my instincts. It was almost like I was following an invisible compass.

"Hey!" A male voice called out from above.

I looked to the treetops, seeing nothing as the rustling of branches alerted me from behind. I turned quickly, not wanting him to get the upper hand.

He dropped from the treetop, landing almost silently, which was impressive, considering his giant frame.

"What you doing all the way out here?" He asked and I knew he must be one of them, judging by his golden eyes.

"I was looking for you."

"Well, don't I feel special." He held his hand over his heart.

He took a step closer, becoming even larger as he flexed his biceps and looked down at me.

"I'm not scared of you," I spoke firmly.

He just huffed out a laugh. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to your leader."

"We don't have a leader," he spoke, crossing his massive arms over his chest.

"Then whoever makes your decisions!" My voice increased in volume and I tried to control myself.

"Why?"

"Because you control my future…" Maybe a bit dramatic, I thought, but still true.

He looked confused and sniffed the air. "You are a wolf?"

"Not yet."

He seemed to mull it over for a minute. "I guess you better talk to Carlisle." He waved his hand for me to follow as he began walking through the woods.

I caught up to him and we walked in silence for a moment, before I remembered him smelling the air. "Can you smell me? Do I smell different?"

"You have hints of shifter stink. It's sort of bitter, but it's still mixed with your human smell."

I tried not to dwell on that information or anything that would lead me to anger. "So, this Carlisle, he chooses what you guys do?" He was like their Sam, I thought oddly.

"No. I mean, he pretends to be our dad and we listen to him, but we are a family. We choose things as a family."

I snorted at the idea of vampires as family. "But you are a bunch of bloodsucking monsters. No offence," I added suddenly, reminded of who was next to me.

"None taken. You know I didn't choose to be a monster any more than you chose to be a wolf. I just live with it the best I can."

I was reminded of my mother telling me this was some kind of gift. I noticed the light coming up as we broke from the tree line, faced with a massive house. There were walls of windows, only separated by a thick piece of lumber that jutted out from the glass.

"This is where you guys live?" I asked the massive vampire.

"What were you expecting? Coffins and dungeons and moats?" He laughed.

It probably would have been less surprising at this point. We climbed the two stairs to the porch and before he touched the door it flew open and a blond crashed into him. I took a step to the side, making some room.

"Rose, what is it?' He cooed, stroking her golden hair. Vampires gathered at the door and the little one spoke first.

"Emmett, where have you been? I couldn't see you."

I catch some names as they continue to talk. "I was with the pup, she wants to talk." He nods to me and everyone's attention turns.

I hear a growl and some murmurs before the older vampire talks. She's smaller than me by a few inches. "Emmett, what were you thinking bringing a shifter here? You know the rules."

"She wanted to talk and what do I care what those stinking dogs think? No offense." He shoots me a smirk and I laugh for the first time in a long time.

"None taken," I speak. "And technically I'm still human… that's what I wanted to talk to you about." I clasped my hands together. Usually I had no problem asking for what I wanted but this was such a new subject. I didn't even know these people were real until today and here I was at the devils doorstep asking for a favor.

The blond doctor looked curious, giving a half smile as he spoke. "Well, then you better come in."

I followed the four vampires into the spacious home and craned my neck, taking in every inch. _You could fit my whole house in their living room_, I thought, with a pang of jealousy.

As we approached the long oak table, I felt the tiny hairs on the back of my neck lift up, before it began to tingle slowly down my arms to my fingertips. I heard the creak of every chair and suddenly I could hear the sounds of animals outside, birds chirping and water running. I looked outside but there was no water or birds in eyes view. Was it happening? Was I becoming less human?

"Family meeting," Carlisle spoke to no one.

"I heard you Carlisle," a blur replied, before stopping. A copper haired boy took a seat at the table.

"Sorry, Edward, I'm used to speaking my thoughts."

Edward gave a half smirk. "Sorry."

My mind reeled as I thought about just blurting it out.

"That's probably the best option." Edward looked at me, but no one had spoken.

"Edward, stop being rude," the little one cut in.

"Oh, Alice, stop being high and mighty. If she wasn't a wolf you would have already looked into the future to see what was going to happen."

They both stared into each other, neither relenting, and I could tell this wasn't the first time.

"Both of you stop acting like children. I'm so sorry." The pretend mother of the group stared at them both before moving back to me. "They seem to have forgotten their manners. I'm Esme, by the way. You already met Emmett and this is his wife, Rosalie, and my husband, Carlisle. The two bickering twins are Edward and Alice."

The only thought I could muster was, _wow, they really are a family_, to which Edward gave a small, lopsided smile.

"So, dear, what did you want to ask?"

"I want to… that is… I was wondering…" I looked at all the golden eyes staring back at me like cats in the night. "I was wondering if you would leave. Move. Go somewhere else. So me and my brother and other people in our tribe won't have to turn into wolves."

The table was silent. Carlisle rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I can't say this has ever happened before. I guess we never realized what sort of impact we had on your people. I'm sorry." He seemed truly sorry and my heart leaped that they might actually do it.

Edward shot up, palms crashing onto the table as he stared down Carlisle, "I won't leave Bella."

Rosalie, seemingly bored this entire time, rolled her eyes at his outburst. "We have to get rid of the human sometime. This is as good an excuse as any."

Edward growled under his breath and I leapt out of my chair without thinking. It was instinct and I began to back away. All eyes looked to me but I was on autopilot; an animalistic survival mode moving me back up each step, tracing a pattern I never knew I remembered. Once I reached the doorway I ran into the tree line; my veins felt like they were burning from the inside out. My movements were erratic. I felt like I was losing control of my footing after every step, like something else was taking over my body.

"Hey, wait," a voice called and my ears pricked, looking around for the source. She stopped on the edge of the clearing, spiky tufts of hair falling into her eyes.

I placed my hand on a tree as my knees buckled. I held my stomach and I felt like throwing up. She took a step forward and with every step I felt the fibers of my being falling apart.

"Don't come any closer," I managed to gasp out, taking deep breaths in and out through my nose. I couldn't unclench my teeth to breathe through my mouth.

"I'm sorry about Edward. He won't leave. I know; I've seen it."

I let out a strangled sob as my mouth filled with pain. It felt like every single tooth was being pulled from my gums. Then I dropped to all fours, digging up the soft dirt with my fingernails. I screamed until it turned into a yelp, resembling that of a helpless puppy. I thought I might pass out from the pain but I never did. I don't know how much time passed but it felt like hours. I looked at my hands, now paws, covered in a light grey fur. I felt a new energy rip through me and the pain seemed like a distant memory.

"Are you okay?" A voice asked.

In the haze I had forgotten I wasn't alone. I looked up expecting to find Alice, the little vampire, but instead my heart stopped and I found my own existence staring back at me and it had the most entrancing golden eyes.

It was instant. I imagined myself growing old with her and dying for her and being anything she wanted me to be.

Figures shot into my vision as the rest of Cullen's joined us. A growl escaped my throat without me thinking. I looked between Alice and the rest of them. She is a vampire; the enemy; the reason I'm like this. I shook my head: of all the romantic wolf-notions. I didn't choose this! I still get a choice. I'm still a human, god damn it! _I_ choose who I love.

I saw a space in the tree line and decided to make a run for it. I sprinted on all fours. It was a new experience, feeling the woods – like it was a living being. Feeling the land move and the speed made my heart race. I made it back to the reservation in what had to be ten minutes. I circled the woods, coming up to my small home, glad that I left the window open in my room. I crouched back, leaping through and crashing onto the bed in human form. I looked at my hands, amazed. I seemed to have changed back almost instantly. A knock sounded at the door and my mother's soft voice spoke.

"Is everything okay?"

I looked over my naked body. "Yeah, everything's fine." The words caught awkwardly in my throat.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." I quickly threw myself under the comforter, pulling it up to my neck.

My mother came in, closing the door softly behind her before sitting on the edge of the bed. "I didn't hear you get back."

I just shrugged letting her continue.

"I'm sorry I didn't prepare you more for this but I think it's time you knew." She reached out and held my hand, running her thumb over the top of my palm. "Your father didn't die of a heart attack. He was killed by a vampire." I looked at her face, knowing it was true. Her eyes fluttered closed before she continued. "I can't lose you and Seth, too. You two are the only thing I have left, but I can't protect you from things like them. I know it's not what you wanted but you have a duty to your people. You can protect people, Leah, so others don't have to lose the people they love."

How could I protect others when I couldn't even protect myself? I had imprinted on one of them. Taking my silence as anger she left, but her words rang in my mind. I had a duty to protect my people. And my people are not vampires.

**A/N Thanks for reading please leave a Review and tell me what you think. **


	2. Fate

**A/N Hey everyone thanks for all the alerts and reviews they mean a lot. I wasn't sure if people would be interested in this pairing and it seems people are and saying that its different I don't think the idea is that different I think the thing is most stories I've read with a wolf/vamp pairing usually make Bella a wolf which I don't understand. I think its better to use a character that already has the qualities and build on them and there are a lot of interesting wolf qualities that are hinted on in the books. Thanks again to Bettlebum101 :] **

Chapter 2 – fate

I awoke to a puddle of cold sweat staining my bed. I couldn't remember my dream. I just remember growls, razor like teeth dripping with saliva and pain. Lots of pain. It's not real… it's just a dream, I reminded myself, then a chuckle broke through the darkness and I realized it was me. The dream was closer to my reality than I let myself believe.

I padded softly to the bathroom, running the cold tap until the water felt like ice, before splashing my face. I looked into the mirrored cabinet, staring at my own reflection. I pulled the skin down around my eyes, looking for signs of wolf, but there was nothing. I was almost back to bed when I heard the frantic rustling of sheets. I approached Seth's room. The door and the window were open, comforter pooled on the floor, as he writhed on the bed. I leaned on the doorframe just watching, helplessly, hoping he wouldn't remember this in the morning. I quickly paced back to the bathroom, wetting a small towel and ringing it out. My bare feet barely made a sound against the old floorboards that I was accustomed to. I entered Seth's room, sitting on the edge of the bed. He was now curled up in the fetal position and I placed the cold towel on his heated skin. His face relaxed, his features softening back into the carefree brother I knew.

"I wish I could save you from this," I whispered into the night.

**[Later that day] **

I let the truck idle, taking in the smell of tobacco and leather. It reminded me so much of my father. It was ingrained into the fabric of this truck; I didn't need heightened senses to experience it. I hopped from the cab, tucking my keys into my pocket as I picked a shopping cart. Lazily pushing it without direction, I headed to the meats. I stood in front of the cooler, looking at all the raw, pink flesh, feeling my mouth water. I cracked my neck, telling myself _no_, over and over again like a chorus. _Bad wolf_, I chided myself. Ugh, what was I becoming? Trying to hold myself back from attacking a pack of bacon...

I filled the cart with enough bacon to feed ten people and quickly moved along.

I turned a corner and instantly hid behind a display stand. I saw Edward with a girl who must have been Bella. She was carrying a basket in the crook of her elbow as he followed behind her holding another one. I tried to listen in to their conversation.

"Edward, you don't have to buy everything I buy," she complained, as he seemed to mirror her actions, picking up a can of corn and putting it in the basket.

"At least this way when you come over to the house we will have the food you like."

She huffed. "You don't have to buy me food. You know I don't like you spending your money on me."

"What's the point of having endless amounts of money, then?" He argued.

_What an ass_, I thought, a little too loudly, and he turned to look at me. _Oh, shit_, I thought. _Stop thinking!_ _He's going to find out you imprinted on Alice_. _Shit, did I just think that?_

His eyes widened and he grabbed Bella's elbow, rushing them out of the store. I took a deep breath, thinking maybe he wouldn't tell her but even I didn't believe that. I paid for the food and carried the bags back to the truck. I set them beside me on the passenger's seat and thought about Alice. All I had was that first look in the clearing; before that point, it's just a haze. My heart soared and sank in the same beat. I hit my hands against the wheel, feeling anger flow straight from my heart. It seemed to come of nowhere. My chest heaved and I looked at my reflection in the rear view mirror. My nostrils flared and my eyes darkened; I could hardly recognize myself. I pawed at the paper bag beside me, finding a steak. I pulled back the clear film, shoving the raw meat into my mouth and chewing down, ripping out chucks. It felt good to give in.

When I reached the house I checked my face in the mirror, wiping the edges of my lips for any signs of blood residue. I placed the bags in the empty kitchen. "Mom! Mom!" I yelled, loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "I got the food. Where are the scissors?" I hectically opened drawer after drawer, finding nothing but junk.

"I think there is a pair in your dad's old tool box," a voice replied.

I cut through the laundry room and into the garage that was filled with boxes of my dad's old things that my mother just couldn't part with. I hated being in here; it was like a cardboard tomb. I quickly found the old toolbox under the wooden workbench and flipped it open, finding an old pair of metal scissors. I took them back to my room, looking at the heap of fabric on the bed. I took a pair of jeans, cutting them at the knees and throwing the old legs into the trash. I hacked away at pair after pair. I now understood why the guys walked about shirtless all the time. I felt on fire in my own skin. I wanted to scratch it off or take an ice bath, but one cold shower a day was enough for now.

I threw on a pair of newly altered shorts and a tank top, looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't look at myself often. Well, no more than average for a girl my age. I guess I did seem taller, which was odd at nineteen. I placed my nose against my shoulder, giving it a sniff to see if I smelled different. It seemed normal to me. I shrugged my shoulders, putting on some sneakers and heading for the door. I needed to get outside.

It was getting dark and for some reason I was more awake than ever. I feared running into Sam or one of his pack but I couldn't stop. I opened the window and with an inhumanly graceful leap, landed outside on my feet. _Funny. I thought it was cats that always landed on their feet_. I dusted off my knees, quickly heading into the woods. It wasn't as good as being on all fours but it was easier than before. I picked up scents and moved quicker, leaped higher. I hopped over a fallen tree, my hand splashing into the dirt. My eyes adjusted, getting better in the darkness. I sniffed the air, coming across an oddly reassuring scent. I walked closer, continually sniffing. It was like a wall of scent. I could tell that it ran in a straight line and I didn't even know how I could know that. I stepped on the other side of the 'wall' and a chill ran up my spin. It must be a territory line. I looked from left to right; no sound broke the silence. I sniffed the air again, smelling something sweet. The hair on the back of my neck bristled and I took a step back.

"Wait!" A girlish cry broke the silence. Alice appeared from behind a tree and I took another step back. "Don't run; I just want to talk to you."

I remembered the pain from turning and each step she took made my blood boil. I could feel that tearing feeling in my soul. "Don't come closer!" I yelled at her and she frowned, taking a step back.

She seemed hurt and that felt worse than the change. I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to be with her, but I didn't even know her. Her kind killed my father.

"What do you want?" I asked, a little too harshly. My heartbeat raced and I curled my fingers into fists, taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself.

"I felt something when you came to the house." She spoke erratically, her eyes searching for reason where there was none. "I know you feel something, too. Edward told me."

"I'm a human. Romantic wolf notions do not control me."

"You are not human anymore. You are a shifter. It's who you are."

I didn't want to hear her words; she was trying to hypnotize me with her vampire tricks. "Your kind killed my dad."

She seemed taken aback by that fact. "I'm sorry. But my family are not like others of our kind. I would never hurt you or your people." Her golden eyes softened in the moonlight.

She took a step forward and I could feel the wolf clawing its way out. She took another step and I dropped to my knees grabbing at my heart. "I said don't move!" I managed to growl under my breath.

"You can't control your ability?" She questioned.

"I only seem to have trouble around you," I bit back, still fighting for breath.

She smirked, taking it as a compliment. "Well, I'm flattered."

"We are natural enemies. My whole existence now is to protect my people from your kind. Maybe my wolf wants out to kill you." It was an empty threat. Though I knew little about imprints, I knew I could never harm her.

"I can tell that's a lie." She seemed awfully sure of herself.

I grabbed at a nearby tree, managing to pull myself back up. "I just want a choice."

"You know, I can see into the future, but I've never been able to see my own up to this point and you know why I thought that was? I thought I was going to die. Every decision I made in life ended up in blackness. So don't preach to me about choice, Wolf Girl. We were destined to meet by a fate much higher than our own and I don't know why but I know I have to find out."

She crossed her arms over her chest and I could feel myself get weaker. My own will was breaking to hers. Our closeness made the wolf stronger.

"Fuck fate," I spat, taking a step back into my territory. I held a hand against my splitting ribs and took several steps back. Alice just stood staring at me, her hands dangling by her sides.

I turned, beginning to jog, and that's when I heard her voice whispering through the trees. "You can't fight fate. No-one can."

**A/N Thanks for reading :] **


	3. You're A Wolf

**A/N Hi everyone thanks again for all the reviews and favs and alerts. I'm glad you are giving the pairing a chance and special thanks to my beta beetlebum101. **

Chapter 3 – You're a Wolf

I tapped at the edges of the cash register on Tuesday. Even now, in the summer, it did nothing to change the fact that it was never busy much anymore. But, hey, maybe people just bought their soap from Wal-Mart now. Most people didn't care if it was tested on animals, as long as it was cheap.

Judith pulled a box from the back room, her tiny frame heaving the box across the tiled floor, sliding it an inch at a time.

"You need a hand with that?" I rushed to her side, picking the box up easily.

Her mouth dropped open and she gaped at me for a second. "Have you been working out or something?" She laughed. I hadn't realized that it might seem odd. I laughed along with her as she pointed to an empty stand by the window. I grunted as I dropped the box, making it seem more difficult than it actually was.

"I'm gonna head out for lunch." She gazed at her watch then back to me. "Would you be a dear and put these out for me?" With that she gently touched my arm. "Leah, you're burning up. Are you okay?"

Ugh… how could I explain this one? "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Oh, okay… Well, I'll be back in an hour." She spoke, head down, glancing at her phone. I am lucky she's too self-obsessed to actually care.

I felt bad thinking that about her; she's a good boss, I shouldn't complain. I flipped open a box cutter and slid it over the tape, exposing the bottles of shampoo. I looked at the black and white label for a second before flicking open the cap and putting it up to my nose. It was hard to figure out the exact scent from the clouding of other products in the store but it was defiantly floral. Like jasmine and lavender. I closed the cap again and started stacking the bottles in the window front.

Seth passed by, giving me a wave as he did and I pointed to the bare patch of skin where a watch would be, reminding him to be back in a few hours so I could drive us home. He nodded, waving me off, as he headed up the street. I resumed my work, digging to the bottom of the box for the last bottle, when the little bell for the door chimed and I turned to greet the customer. I was surprised to see Sam's shirtless frame.

"Leah, you haven't been answering my calls. I have respected Sue's wishes and given you a few days to come to terms with this, but I need you to know some things. This is important; the first change can be really frightening." His brown eyes begged and I took him in, but for the first time in a long time I didn't feel hurt. The glint in his eye didn't send a stabbing pain towards my heart. I felt nothing.

I shook my head, coming back to reality. He must not be able to smell me because of all the junk in the store. I can still hide for a few more days, at least.

"Tell me here."

He looked from side to side, utterly confused.

"Come on, the store is empty. Here or nowhere," I added.

He cleared his throat. "Okay, well the first change is painful, but it gets easier after that. It's sort of like going through puberty again."

"Great. If that wasn't a barrel of laughs the first time..."

"I remember." He looked up at me, his eyes half lidded.

We had dated then and we were each other's firsts. We grew up together, had seen each other's awkward phases. Our eyes met and he huffed out a laugh, replaying an old memory of his own, I guessed, and I joined along, remembering Sam when he was nothing but a lanky, stupid teenager. It was the first time we had laughed since he had broken up with me to be with Emily.

"Once you shift you will join the pack mind and we will help you focus."

I remembered shifting but no voices spoke to me. "What if no-one's in wolf form?" I questioned.

"Someone is always in wolf form. We do shifts running the treaty line."

Hmmm… How didn't I hear anyone? "Isn't that really annoying? Hearing each other's thoughts?"

"It's for hunting. But as alpha, I can control it." Alpha male? I rolled my eyes inwardly. "Turning back is easy, but for the first few months it can be confusing – the increased appetite, the heat and the increased sense of smell and sight."

I nodded, taking in what he said but it was all pretty useless. "What if I want to leave the pack?" I asked.

"I don't know, Leah. It's never been done before. When you turn, you feel a pull to the land; to the people. It becomes what you were born to do. Even now as I stand here, I can feel the bond pulling me back home. It's similar to the imprint bond but not as strong."

So, that's what I was feeling when I drove here this morning. I had almost turned back twice, thinking I was sick. I gazed down at my feet, wondering if I should ask what was on my mind. "Is Emily your imprint?" I gazed up at him and he pressed his lips into a hard line.

"Yes, she is. I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you why I had to leave you."

"You didn't _have_ to leave me. You _chose_ to leave me." My voice raised an octave as I tried to control the flare of anger.

"You will understand when it happens to you. It's not a choice."

"I understand the attachment is not a choice, but what you do with it is."

"I couldn't fight it, no one can. It's bond or death."

"What?"

"No-one in our history has survived without their bond. Not for long, anyway. When they die, we die."

_What if your bond is already dead?_ My mind questioned, with a laugh.

"Why?" I questioned.

"When you bond, you find your reason for existing. Without them, well, I don't want to think about what it would be like. I know it's odd; Quill turned a few days ago… imprinted on Emily's cousin. She's only two."

"That's disgusting," I spat.

He waved his hands, "No it's not like that. The imprint bond is complicated. It just means that you will always be there for them. Quill will be her friend, her protector, and maybe when they are older they will fall in love."

"Yeah 'cause it won't be creepy when he's old."

"That's another thing I forgot to mention." He paused. "If you continue to change, then you don't get older."

If I were drinking something I would have spat it out. "What? You mean I'm basically immortal? How come there aren't, like, five hundred year old wolves running around?"

"Because most meet their imprint and choose to grow old with them. Imprinting is sort of like a fail-safe. It keeps us in check, makes us accountable to someone other than ourselves."

"Sam…" I sighed. "This is a lot of information."

"I understand and I just wanted to thank you for not going to the vampires. They are dangerous. They can't be trusted." He raised his hand, curling it into a fist. "I wish our grandparents never made that treaty. I would kill them all." His nostrils flared in a second of anger before he relaxed, looking to his tattered sneakers then back to me. "I'll let you get back to work and I'll check up on you in a few days." He turned back to the door.

One more question flashed through my mind but I was pretty sure I already knew the answer. "Emily wasn't mauled by a bear, was she?"

He froze, his shoulders tensing, his gravelly tone breaking the silence. "No. It was me. You are lucky you don't have to go through this alone like I did. There are some mistakes you can't take back." With that, he left.

I thought over Sam's words and dismissed them. I was a female wolf. All the rules didn't apply to me, right? Why was I asking questions in my own mind? I shook the thoughts from my head, looking at the clock just as Judith entered with a Starbucks cup in one hand and a phone plastered to her ear. I hung up my apron and grabbed my car keys, keeping my eyes alert for Seth. I found him casually leaning against the side of the truck, a white plastic bag hanging from his hand.

We both got in the cab, slamming the doors shut and about to drive home in our normal veil of silence, when suddenly Seth started talking.

"Something weird happened…"

"What?" I replied quietly, my head still spinning from new information.

"I went to that book store up on the hill and there was a girl doing palm readings and… Well." He stuttered so I turned to him, seeing his cheeks turn a reddish hue.

"What?" I smiled, sensing his embarrassment.

"I thought she was cute…" He rushed out. "But that wasn't the weird part." He cleared his throat. "When she was reading my palm… her grandma came out from the back and she looked at me really weird. Then she yelled at me and told me to get out. I was confused so I just sat there and she grabbed me and pushed me towards the door saying, 'get out, get out.'" His voice got high and shrill in an attempt to copy the old woman. "'You're a wolf-boy, get out!'"

I took a deep breath, surprised by his last words.

He continued. "How could she know? Why would she be afraid? I thought wolves were protectors?"

"That's the problem. Something has to be in danger in order for you to protect it." I moved my eyes back to the road.

We returned to silence, the flick of the windscreen wipers acting like a metronome, counting the seconds until we were back home. Once we reached Forks, I felt a sigh of relief escape me and I quickly looked to Seth to see if he had noticed the odd action, but he just continued to stare out of the window.

"Can you drop me off at Ethan's?" Seth asked, not bothering to turn around.

"Sure." I turned into the reservation – a large dirt road lined with trees. There were no signs; you just had to know it was there.

I dropped Seth off, watching him hurriedly run to his friend's house. I watched him be normal, wondering how long it would last. The thought made me sad. Though, to be truly sad you had to be happy and I couldn't remember the last time I was happy.

As I reached the house the lights were off and the feeling of emptiness crept in. No noise, no footsteps. I hopped from the cab, landing in a puddle of mud, tiny drops covering my calves like paint splashes.

I felt so hot. Having to dress in a shirt for work made me feel trapped. Then the sky cracked open with thunder. Rain; it's rain. _Beautiful rain_, my mind sang. I opened my arms and closed my eyes, leaning my head back and letting the cold water cleanse my body. I could feel each drop like a fingertip running over my skin. My mind flashed to Alice, imagining her running her cold hands over my face… down my neck, the scratching of fingernails. A shiver ran down my spine… "No!" I called out, walking into the woods. I took off my sneakers then my socks, leaving a trail behind me, as I got deeper and deeper. Twigs crunched under foot. I hoped the cold earth would sedate the wolf. If I could give it something then I hoped it would return the favor and stop invading my mind with treacherous thoughts.

I thought about phasing but I didn't know the first thing about how to do it. I walked to the treaty line, back to where I had seen Alice. I don't know if I expected her to be there or not but I felt compelled to be at this spot. I stepped over the treaty line, everything inside me growling out to go back, but I continued.

I sniffed the air for that sweet scent but it was gone.

"Told you you couldn't fight fate." Alice dropped from a tree the same distance away as last time.

I took a step back. "What? How… How did you know I would be here?"

Her head tilted to one side, her eyes narrowing as if she was trying to see through me. "Don't you feel it? That pull?"

"I feel a lot of things right now. A lot of things I don't want to feel. I don't understand why you don't get that."

"I understand that it's confusing but why not give it a shot? Why can't we be friends?"

"We _can't_ be friends because we are enemies!" I yelled across to her, the most obvious information I'm sure she could grasp. "You're a vampire and I'm a werewolf. It doesn't work."

"You're not a werewolf," she cut in. "You're a shifter."

"What's the difference?" I shrugged.

"Werewolves are children of the moon; the moon controls them. And vampires wiped them out, like, a hundred years ago."

"Wow, your kind are just a great bunch," I snorted, sarcastically, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm not like that. Don't group me in with them."

"That's what you are, aren't you?" I crossed my arms over my chest in defense. "If I'm a shifter, you are a vampire. You. Kill. Things." I punctuated each word.

"We kill animals. Humans do that."

"Yeah, so you kill both of what I am – humans and animals. I'm a wolf. Have you ever killed a wolf?"

"I didn't come here to argue the merit of how I survive," she quipped.

"Then why _did_ you come here?"

It became silent. She moved her weight from foot to foot, her steps so gentle and graceful not even the leaves broke.

"Because… Because…" It was the first time I had heard a vampire stutter. "Would you believe me if I said I don't know? I'm just listening to my instinct."

I knew about instinct and right now it was telling me too much. Something strong pulled me forward but also pushed me back. I think for the first time I understood what the feeling was. It was fear. I didn't reply; I just stood there.

"Close your eyes. Listen to what your instinct tells you and if you want me to go, I'll go," she whispered.

I stared at her for a long moment and all I could think was, _Oh, God, what a pretty face_. I slammed my eyes closed, listening for that voice inside. I could hear birds' wings flap and the rustling of leaves and I could hear no sound coming from Alice herself. With my eyes closed it was like she didn't exist. No heartbeat or footfalls or nervous movement. That's when I felt it… how she exists. How I _know_ she exists. I could feel it in my heart. My heart raced and I opened my eyes. When I did, I was face to face with the most beautiful, deadly creature. I fell back into the dirt, clutching my chest and pushing my legs along the ground, trying to get myself away. She followed me, reaching her hand out. My mind became clouded. I tried to shake away the daze but it was too late; my skin ripped open and in a blur, I was wolf.

It was like a ball of energy bursting like a water balloon. I looked for Alice. Where had she gone? _She was right here_. I looked side to side but nothing. A whimper escaped as I sniffed the air, following the scent over to some trees. She was on the ground, curled up slightly, a large claw slash across her abdomen.

_I have hurt my imprint. I have hurt my imprint_. It was all I could think, over and over, the simple animal mind taking over. I nudged her with my nose until she lay on her back. Her eyes were still closed and she looked like one of those Roman statues.

_Alice… Alice_. I tried to speak but all that came out was barks and growls.

She stirred, as if just been woken up from a deep sleep. She was okay. My mind sighed seeing her golden eyes shine. I don't know what I would have done if she didn't wake up.

I was no good. This was no good. I tried to tell her we didn't work. As she slowly climbed back onto her feet I disappeared into the tree line at lightning speed. I couldn't believe I had done that. I could have killed her.

**A/N Thanks for reading. Keep an eye out for a little one-shot that will be coming soon. Also please review and tell me what you think of the story so far and if you have any questions I will try to answer them :]**


	4. Morning Song

**A/N Thanks again for all the alerts and review, I almost forgot to post this so busy with life and things but I didn't want to let you guys down so I hope you enjoy. P.s Thanks to Beetlebum 101 for your awesome grammar. **

Chapter 4 – Morning Song

I turned over in bed, staring at another patch of wall. It didn't matter which part; I was inside my head and couldn't get out. All my thoughts were the same. _I could have killed her_. _I could have ripped her head right off_. The image flared in my mind, scarring me like a hot poker to my flesh.

"Stop it… Stop it," I whispered to myself. "I didn't mean it."

I turned again to the other side and suddenly Emily entered my mind. I hadn't thought of her in so long. After the incident I just cut her out. Did Sam feel this every time he looked at Emily's scarred face? I suddenly felt pity for him. I would not wish this pain on anyone, not even Sam.

I should just stay away from her. I'm not good for her; it's been proven. I'll just stay on the reservation. She can't get to me here. I needed to do something to get out of this bed. I thought about going to see Emily. Could I finally forgive her? I guess knowing it was an imprint bond changed some of it, but I had hated her for so long and that didn't just go away. I guess I could use someone to talk to about this whole imprint thing.

I hopped out of bed, heading for the door, when I remembered Sam might be there and he would smell me and know I was a wolf now. I put on a jacket and grabbed an old cap that belonged to my father, which hung by the door. I pulled the cap down as I walked through the small reservation streets. I slowed my pace as I reached their home and stuffed my hands in my pockets. Pausing behind an old car, I noticed Sam's truck was gone. I reached the door with chipped, blue paint and dead plants in pots filled with rainwater scattered on the porch. I lifted my hand, stalling, wondering what I could possibly say. It wasn't in me to just come out and say sorry… because I _wasn't_ sorry. But maybe I was ready to be beyond it.

I let my hand fall lightly three times, knocking more paint chips to the ground. I heard the shuffle of footsteps and smelled the faint aroma of what seemed like apple pie. She opened the door, her eyes taking a second to reach mine.

"Leah?" She gasped.

I looked at my cousin, my former best friend, feeling a mix of confusing emotions. I took the hat slowly from my head, ringing it in my hands.

"Hey, Emily."

We stood there for what felt like minutes, but was merely seconds.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, not in anger but in surprise.

"I wanted to talk to you," I replied, simply.

"Well, come in… Come in."

She was dressed in a tan colored apron, her hair pulled back into a long ponytail and when she turned, I stared at the scars on her face and thought of Alice.

"Would you like a piece of pie?" I followed her into the kitchen.

I wanted to say no but it smelled so delicious. "Sure."

"And a glass of milk?" She questioned, as I took a seat at the small, round table.

"Just water is fine." I placed the hat down, stretching my arms over the table, wondering how to cut through the awkwardness.

"I've been baking all day; the guys eat so much food. My full time job now is just cooking. They should be back soon. I think they are out jogging or lifting weights or whatever guys do together." She laughed nervously.

"Yeah…" I stared into the table. "That must be a wolf thing."

She dropped the glass holding the water and it smashed over the floor. She turned in a flurry. "You _know_?"

"Sam hasn't told you yet?"

"No, I guess he hasn't."

"That's probably my fault. I didn't take it very well."

She put the pie on the table, forgetting the water. She leaned in close, her eyes brightening. "But you know now. I wanted Sam to tell you so long ago but he told me it was against the laws. How did you find out? Did you see one of them?" She spoke so rapidly I could hardly make it out.

I searched her eyes. _How could he not have told her?_ I guess telling her that the cousin she betrayed is now cursed to be a wolf is a bit of a downer. "I didn't see one of them; I _am_ one of them."

She pressed back into her chair. "You're a wolf?" She repeated, softly.

"Yes, but you can't tell Sam yet. I don't want to be part of the pack. He still thinks I just show the signs; he doesn't know I've… turned."

"But he needs to know. He can help you."

"Emily… if you want me to trust you again you have to keep this secret for me, okay? Please. I just need a few more days, or a week."

She seemed to mull it over. She knew I wasn't one to give her this chance lightly, not after our history. "Okay, I'll keep your secret."

I picked at the pie, wondering how to start this. "I came here so you could help me. You mentioned laws… What laws?"

"They haven't told you?" She questioned.

"Like I said, I didn't take the news well. Sort of left before they could give me the pamphlet."

"Okay, well, the only ones who know about the people who can turn are the elders and the imprints."

"What does it mean to be an imprint? Do you feel what he feels?"

She paused, taking a hard swallow. As I watched her throat rise and fall, I realized I was asking somewhat of a personal question.

"Why do you want to know? Have you imprinted?"

"Maybe. Look, it's all very confusing. I just need your help understanding it."

She sighed. "When I first saw Sam, I felt something strange and immediate but then it fell away. After that, though, he was in my life every day. I didn't even notice at first and when we talked, we just clicked. After a while, when he was away, I felt this… _longing_ I couldn't explain. It was more than missing someone; I really can't explain it."

"Weren't you afraid?"

"Yes, I was terrified. Leah, I didn't want to love Sam. I knew he was yours. I would never do that but, I don't know, I guess it was just fate. I hated hurting you. If it could have happened a different way…" She led on, but I cut her off.

"Don't. It is history now," I waved off. "Aren't you afraid of the other wolves? Like Paul?" I could imagine not wanting to be near the thing that almost clawed off your face.

"Paul would never hurt me. It's in the laws."

"What do you mean?"

"You really know nothing," she muttered. "There is no reason a wolf should ever harm another of its pack. It is forbidden – unless that wolf hurts or kills your imprint. Then you are allowed to kill them."

"That seems a bit much, don't you think?"

"They are very old laws. And anyway, it's like I'm part of the pack. I don't pose any threat. There is no reason for Paul to get angry around me." She smiled.

"You want to be part of this freak show?" I asked, a bit disgusted.

"It's not a freak show, Lee, it's a family."

_I wish I were an orphan_, I thought darkly, chuckling internally. We fell into an awkward silence as I looked around the small home; so much had changed, yet it was still the same. I rang the old hat in my hands under the table, unsure of how to make more conversation. I pushed the chair back a little too hard as I got up and it seemed to shock her.

"I should go before Sam gets back."

Emily stayed silent and I knew it was wrong of me to ask her to keep this secret. I moved to the door and she followed, holding the edge of the door as I made my way down the steps.

"Come back anytime." She spoke with a sad smile, hugging one arm around herself.

Everything felt so empty; there were so many questions and no answers. I let my feet take me away, just feeling the cool air against my skin. Each step seemed to be permeated with a moment of Alice. I closed my eyes and I could see the curve of her neck and my hand itched to reach out. Then, step after step, the black and the pain seeped in. I saw myself – but not myself – pushing her away as I phased. I opened my eyes, unable to bear the images.

As I looked up I saw the church. Well, it wasn't really a church; it was just an old hall. It was very small and they used to bring us here in school to listen to the old man talk about spirits and stuff. I never really listened.

I pushed the door open, tentatively, wondering if I was allowed to be here. Was it even still in use? Some candles were lit on the far side of the room but other than that, it was empty. There were just long, wooden benches facing the windows that overlooked the ocean. I took a seat on the end of one bench, looking around for… Well, I didn't really know what I was looking for. Just something, I guess.

"What am I doing?" I muttered into the hallowed room.

Am I supposed to speak to god? Does he have all the answers? He made me so I guess he should. I clasped my hands together, wondering if this was how you were supposed to start.

"Hey, God, it's me, Leah. But I guess you know that. I've never asked for anything before – mostly because I didn't really believe you existed. But if you do exist, could you do me a favor? Could you tell me why I need to be a wolf? Could you tell me why I'm having all these feelings for Alice?" I pushed my hands together harder, as if it would make the prayer more powerful. "Please could you take these feelings away? I didn't ask for them; I don't want them. Please, just… Please let me be normal. I don't understand how to be this way: to be a protector and to find a way to be with Alice. I can't be with her… our families…"

"Are you okay?"

I jumped slightly, opening my eyes and realizing I had begun to tear up. I wiped quickly, removing any evidence of emotion. It was an old man. I'm pretty sure it was the same one who taught me when I was a little girl. How could he still be alive?

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. You look like you are struggling with something."

"I shouldn't even be here; I don't even believe in this stuff." I moved to get up.

"That doesn't matter," he shrugged, taking me off guard.

"I… I don't know how to exist anymore. I thought I knew who I was but now I don't know anything."

"Wow, that's a big problem." He walked slowly around the room, lighting more candles. I wanted to laugh at him stating the obvious.

"You said you knew who you _were_. How did you know that?"

"Over time I grew up and, I don't know, I'm just who I am."

"And now?"

"Something happened. It made me someone different; very different." _Like a different species_, my subconscious added.

"And do you like this new you?"

"No! I mean… I don't know."

"From my experience, there is rarely a time in life where you will know all the answers. That's why they call it faith. You have to trust in yourself and trust in others. Maybe this new you is the you you've been waiting for. Maybe you are needed for something bigger than yourself."

"That's what I'm worried about."

**A/N Hope you enjoyed. I know its getting a bit dramatic but that's what I enjoy writing. It's a very different experience writing Leah as a character and remember this is all supernatural so things are never going to be normal even though what I enjoy best about it is the normality of the emotions ok now I'm just rambling sorry :] **


	5. I Don't Know

**A/N Hi everyone, Hope you are enjoying the story so far. People who like my stories usually know I am very inspired by music I even have a list of wolf songs I listen to when writing this, not like wolves howling but songs like 'you're a wolf' by seawolf which was the title of chapter three and this chapter is named after a peter and kerry song. If you know who they are then I applaud your awesome taste in music anyway on with the show. P.s Big thanks to my beta beetlebum101 couldn't do this without you mate :] **

Chapter 5 – I Don't Know

It had been two days since I saw Alice and I could feel the pull more than anything. I felt sick; I couldn't eat. Seth had begun to worry but I made him promise not to go to Sam. I was just lucky that mom was away visiting her sister for a few days. I pulled the blanket up to my neck as a chill ran through me, a cold sheen of sweat covering my body.

I stared at the television in discontent; it was nothing but white noise and a blur of color. Not that daytime television was ever anything else.

The thought passed through my mind that maybe if I shifted I would feel better. But I had never shifted normally and had no idea how to force myself to do it. I would also be more at the will of the wolf; the simple animalistic nature would run my thoughts, which was dangerous to say the least. So I turned my attention to more normal things, like getting up and making myself a cup of peppermint tea. That had always made me feel better when I was sick.

A knock at the door gave me a fright; no one was supposed to be home yet.

"Hello?" A voice called through the house and I recognized it as Jacob black.

He walked into the living room and stared at me, as I lay half dead on the couch. He pushed his long hair out of his face and, maybe it was the angle but, he looked taller. It wouldn't be long for him now, either.

"Leah, you don't look so good."

"Thanks for that, Captain Obvious. What are you here for anyway?" I complained as he intruded in my personal, loathing bubble.

"My dad sent me. He asked Sue if he could have some old fishing stuff of Harry's. She said she put it in a box."

"It's in the garage with the rest of the stuff." I pointed in the general direction, letting my head fall back onto the couch.

Jake shuffled out, making some loud noises and general clattering, before he came back with a large cardboard box. This is what happens when you die. People divide up your stuff and after a while, it isn't even your stuff anymore. It has a new owner and it becomes theirs and when they die, it becomes someone else's until it dies itself. Most of this crap would outlive all of us.

"Leah." He stood in the same spot as he did when he came in. "Maybe you should see a doctor. You really don't look great."

"I'm fine, it's just a cold. Now, get out before I infect you." I ran a hand though my short hair and as it stuck to my head, I realized I needed a shower.

"Jake, wait!" I yelled, just as he reached the door. "You should go. You're finished high school right?" He nodded. "You should go to college. Get out of here; go as far away as you can."

"I can't leave my dad. He needs me," he said softly as he left.

The screen door hit with the clack of wood on wood and I knew he was gone. I tore myself from the couch and shaky legs carried me forward until I reached the small bathroom. Turning on the shower, I let the water run hot before stripping off and stepping into the spray. I supported myself with one hand on the tiles, bowing my head and letting the water curl under my face, filling my mouth. Was what Sam said true? Would trying to break the bond kill me? It had only been a few days.

I turned off the shower, dressing in some clean shorts and a blue tank top. I ran the towel over my hair as I walked back into the living room. What I saw made me freeze, the towel dropping to the floor with a delicate thud.

"Seth, what are you doing?! Get away from her!" I waved him over quickly and he looked confused.

Seth and Alice sat on the couch chatting like the best of friends, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Seeing my distress he got up, making his way over to me. I pulled him into my chest then quickly pushed him behind me.

"Leah, Alice isn't going to hurt me," he said calmly, stepping to my side. Alice seemed a little hurt at my presumption but I ignored it.

"You could have turned. It could have been bad for both of you." I looked Alice dead in the eye. You think she would have learned better, putting herself at risk like that.

I grabbed Seth by the shoulders, shaking him. "Why did you bring her here?"

"You were saying her name in your sleep, over and over. You looked bad, Lee; I couldn't leave you like that. I know you went to see the vampires and I know you phased. I'm not stupid you know." He smirked

I guess I didn't give my little brother enough credit. The awkwardness in the room increased tenfold with this new information. Alice got up off the couch, her hands outstretched.

"Can't we just talk?"

I pushed my palm out to stop her from coming closer. "You, stay. You know what happens when you move."

"Did you just tell me to stay?" She tilted her head to the side and I could tell she was not amused. "I'm not a dog, you know."

"Sorry," I said quickly. I put my hands over my face inhaling deeply. "Seth, you stay here. Dinner is in the fridge. I'm going to talk to Alice." I looked to her and suddenly realized that I didn't feel sick anymore. Guess I better get this over with. "I'll head to the treaty line in the clearing where we met before. Don't get too close," I warned and she simply rolled her eyes.

It took me fifteen minutes to reach the clearing. Alice was already there, leaning against a tree and looking utterly relaxed.

"Do you know the risk you took coming onto the reservation like that?" I asked, standing at a safe distance. I guessed that she didn't know the old laws protected her, but no-one knew that yet.

"They would have to catch me first." She gave a half smile and I began to see her cocky side.

"So, does your family know?" I asked and though we were a good distance away, we could speak as though standing next to each other.

"It's hard keeping secrets in a house full of vampires."

I took that as a yes. "So, can I expect your brothers to hunt me down like a dog?"

To that, she laughed and it was a pleasant sound. Like raindrops on a windowpane. "It's not my brothers you should worry about, it's my sister. I mean, there was talk, but in the end I thought it better to keep you around." Alice looked at the ground, before sitting crossed legged.

I was too anxious to sit; I could feel the wolf under my skin like a tick, scratching and gnawing away at me. "I'm sorry about hurting you. I really didn't mean it. You just surprised me."

She put her hand on her head, pressing her eyes shut. "I know, I shouldn't have done that. It's just so hard around you. I'm so _blind_." She looked up, reading the confusion on my face. "I'm used to seeing every decision before it happens but with you everything is a mystery. How can I know what to do? Is this how normal people feel all the time?"

"Yeah, pretty much," I nodded.

"Well that sucks," she moaned like a child, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Why do you think you can't see me?"

"I don't know. Carlisle thinks it could be a defense mechanism of yours, or maybe because I'm not a wolf it's harder for me to see. But I don't remember being human and I can see them fine."

"You don't remember being human?" I asked, quizzically.

"No. Just woke up this way a hundred years ago. Don't know what I would have done if I didn't get a vision of Carlisle."

"So, you guys are like one big, happy family?"

"Most of the time, yes. We look out for each other. Vampires aren't unlike wolves; they flock together and it's just safer that way."

"I haven't told the pack yet," I blurted out.

"Why not?"

"They don't know I phased. I just wanted to be human a little longer. Sam and I… Well, we have a past, and the idea of following his orders makes my blood boil."

"You were together?" She questioned lightly.

"For a few years. Look, why did you come here? Why did you want to see me?"

"I don't know; I felt odd." She shrugged, seeming rather unimpressed by the whole thing. "I listen to my instincts and to my visions and my instinct said to come."

"That's it? Just a whim made you possibly risk your life?"

"Like I said, they would have to catch me first. And it was stronger than that." She looked at me through her lashes, the silence heavy. The temperature in the air dropped and I could tell it would rain soon.

"You wanted to see me didn't you?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"I… I don't know how to be around you."

Alice frowned and it seemed a thing she should never do because it marred her beautiful face. "Can we try? Maybe I can help you get used to being around vampires. I'm a hundred years old, you know. I know a thing or two about control."

The idea seemed odd but what was the alternative? Death? Who knew, really? "I guess we can give it a try," I relented.

"Yay!" Alice bounced onto her toes, taking a step forward.

Instinctively I took a step back, placing my hand over my heart and waiting for pain. "Let's just take it slow."

**A/N Thanks for stopping by please leave a review to let others know how much you enjoyed your visit :] **


	6. Lines

**A/N Hey everyone, sorry about the lateness of this chapter kept forgetting to post cause I'm not feeling very well. Hope you like it p.s thanks to beetlebum101 :] **

Chapter 6 - lines

I took a deep breath, crossing the treaty line. Closing my eyes, it felt like stepping off a cliff into the unknown, but there was no drop, just another footstep in the mud. I knew she was waiting for me; I could feel it. I didn't know how I could feel it. I guess that's why they call it instinct. I took a few more steps, coming into the clearing.

"Haven't you learned you can't sneak up on me?" I yelled.

Her scent was in the air and it filled my senses. I could feel my heart slow, like a drug was being pumped in, opening my arteries.

"I wasn't trying to scare you. I was just watching."

Her childlike voice made it hard to think she would lie. Alice dropped from a high branch, landing almost silently.

"I brought something," she said, flashing a silver can in her hand before shaking it. The rattle inside made it obvious it was spray paint.

"What's that for?" I wondered out loud.

"To keep track. It will be our line in the sand, as it were."

With that, she took a step forward and I froze. Then she took another. I kept waiting for the pain but it never came. We stood silently, gazing at each other as if waiting for the bomb to go off.

Alice gazed at the ground then back to me and took another step forward. You could fit a truck in the space between us but it felt closer than ever before. My skin felt on fire, even more than before and I itched at my arm, literally wanting to pull my own skin off. With another baby step, my arms started to shake.

"I think you should stop."

She seemed annoyed at that but agreed, stopping and spraying a line of orange paint across the tip of her shoes. It was that bright sort of orange that no one could like. It was too similar to the color of prison uniforms.

"Here," she called, tossing the can to me.

I caught it, standing stalk still, wondering if I should try to take another step forward. I sprayed the line where I stood, tossing the can back again. I edged back, falling to the ground so I could lean my back against the tree. Alice walked the orange line like a caged tiger.

"So, why Forks?" I called out and it seemed to grab her attention.

"Because it fills our needs. It's cloudy and cold and not to populated."

"Why does population matter?"

"The population of certain cities has started wars amongst vampires and covens. It's like, who gets to own the biggest buffet."

The thought of humans as food made me sick and a familiar tingle ran up my spine.

Alice must have noticed my discomfort. "Hey, that ain't me." She held up her hands.

I snickered under my breath. "Did you just say, 'ain't'?" I noticed her voice take on hints of a southern drawl every so often.

"Sometimes my accent changes from living in so many different places. But I can't seem to lose the South. From what little I know of my past I was from Mississippi." The way she said 'little' made me want to know more. "So, now it's my turn. Tell me more about the imprint bond."

I sighed, trying to figure out how to explain something so complicated. "It's complicated. Sam called it a failsafe. It makes us accountable to someone other than ourselves."

Alice nodded, continuing to pace the line. "It's understandable. The world gives and the world takes away. It gives you a weakness." I tried to see it through Alice's predatory eyes. I guess the only true way to hurt a wolf is to hurt an imprint. "So, I guess I'm your weakness." Alice gave a lopsided smirk, looking rather proud.

"And that makes you happy because…" I trailed off.

"Well, as weaknesses go, I'm pretty strong."

"Doesn't matter how strong you are. The minute that we begin to care the world has something to use against us…" Then I understood what I felt when I hurt her. "I will never be strong enough to be without you."

The silence fell heavy. Nothing but my lone, beating heart filled the air.

"When I hurt you, I felt awful. Beyond awful; like I couldn't live with myself." The feelings overwhelmed me and I drank back the cold air as I felt my eyes tighten, holding back tears.

"I was completely fine," Alice tried to reassure me, her voice full of kindness. "Look." She lifted her shirt, showing her flawless, white skin. There wasn't a scratch on her and for that, I felt slightly relieved. "I told you, I'm pretty durable. It's going to take more than that to get rid of me," she joked, lightening the mood.

The time passed rather quickly and I feared that a patrol would pass by soon.

"I should go…" I felt embarrassment all of a sudden because of how much I had said. "There will be a patrol soon." Alice looked dejected.

"Can we do this again tomorrow, same time?" I questioned.

"It's a date," she smiled, showing her pearly white teeth. I have to say, I sort of expected to see fangs.

I nodded awkwardly, stepping back behind the treaty line.

Xxx

I woke with a new energy, like I could run a marathon and lift a car. I was excited that I got to see Alice again. I walked into the kitchen and saw Seth sitting at the table eating cereal. I ran my hand through his shaggy hair, messing it even more. He whined, trying to smooth it back down as milk dripped from his lip.

"You seem happy," Seth stated, as I got some bacon from the fridge.

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"No reason. I'm happy you got a girlfriend and stopped moping around all the time."

I ignored his last comment. "Alice isn't my girlfriend. We are just friends. She's helping me."

"Yeah, helping you get in her pants," Seth sang with a chuckle.

I slapped him on the back of the head, effectively shutting him up. "Don't talk about her like that."

"Gees, okay, she has no pants to get into." Seth held up his hands in surrender. "So, when are you meeting your vampire lady friend?"

"Later."

I placed the now cooked bacon onto a plate and sat beside Seth. As I did, he launched his hand out but I was faster and slapped it away.

"I can imagine the conversations you have now. 'Oh, Leah, do you want to see a movie?'" Seth mimicked a woman's voice. I guess trying to be Alice, before switching to a lower one, mimicking me. "'No'… 'Oh, Leah, do you want to see my room?'… 'No.'"

I know I was not an overly talkative person, but did I really come across like that?

"Shut up and eat your cereal."

Seth took another bite but apparently it wasn't in him to be quiet. "So, when you gonna tell the guys that you phased?"

I groaned. "I don't know. When one of them smells it on me, probably."

"They can smell it?" Seth questioned and I nodded yes. "That's gross."

"Tell me about it," I huffed, chewing on the crispy bacon.

One thing had played on my mind: why I had phased twice, yet, I had heard no-one inside my mind. I stared out the window, letting the seconds tick past, coming no closer to a conclusion.

Seth slurped at the milk in his bowl, holding it under his chin with two hands. _He has always eaten like a dog, why stop now?_ I thought, with a snigger. "Shouldn't you be at school?" I questioned him.

"Ohh crap!" He yelled, shooting up from the table, grabbing his backpack and hastily exiting without a goodbye.

I relaxed in my chair, looking to the clock. It was early but I guessed I could get there and sit for a while; maybe take a book. I mulled it over until a significant amount of time had passed. I got to the door, suddenly wondering if what I was wearing was nice. I could look nicer… but did I want to look nicer? Shorts and a tank top were about all the material I wanted to wear. Anything else and I cooked in my own skin. I shook the thoughts from my head, slipping on my dirty white sneakers before heading for the treaty line.

It was unusually quiet as I approached the treaty line. I wondered if other animals could smell me, too. Did I smell like a predator? I closed my eyes and crossed the line, the faint pull backwards becoming ever fainter. I touched the trees with my outstretched hand as I past until I reached the orange line. It was almost like a foreboding warning, the way it stood out from the mud and the grass.

I kicked off my shoes, feeling the cool earth between my toes. It felt so stifling in my own skin. I wanted to take my shirt off, too, but I wasn't that much of an animal yet. I had an idea. I found shade under the tree and got down on my knees, then lay flat on my back. I closed my eyes, adjusting my shoulders to the hard ground and once I did, I could feel the cool ground against my back and I let it seep into my bones. As I breathed, I was suddenly overcome with a sweet, familiar scent.

"Being at one with the earth, I see?"

I kept my eyes closed, focusing on the cool sensation. "Don't give me any of that Pocahontas crap. I don't sing songs of the mountain and I don't paint with all the colors of the fucking wind."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'm hot."

"Well, doesn't someone have a big ego?" Her laugh was almost imperceptible but I could tell it was there.

"I mean phys… I mean, my body temperature is now, like, a hundred and twenty degrees. It's a wolf thing." I cracked an eye open before sitting up.

Alice stood at her line, arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes were a radiant gold, shimmering in the daylight and when I looked at her, she smiled that lopsided smile.

"I have an idea," Alice announced proudly. "Today, why don't you phase and see if you can cross the line?"

I thought about phasing but the idea and the pain were the first thoughts that came to mind. "I can't. I don't know how to do it on my own and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to communicate with you."

"I know, I know," Alice relented, her voice laced with sadness. "I just thought we could try something."

"Shouldn't you be in school?" I questioned, at an attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah, but I'd rather be here. Plus, I've graduated high school sixteen times."

"Why put yourself through that?"

"The younger we start in a new place, the longer we can stay." I wanted to ask what age she was even though it seemed like an odd question. "What age are you, exactly?"

Alice stared at the sky for a moment and a faraway look crossed her features. "I'm not exactly sure on that. Vampire wise, about a hundred; human wise, about seventeen or eighteen. I guess I could be older but I look so youthful, don't you think?" Alice smiled cutely, showing off her dimples.

"Yeah, practically jail bait," I joked.

"Did you just make a joke?" She asked, amazed.

"I believe I did."

After that we fell into easy conversation. Having lived more of a life, Alice had more stories to tell but I was happy to sit and listen. She told me stories of places I had only dreamed of going and of her makeshift family – particularly Emmett, who seemed to find himself in troubling situations a lot.

"There was this one time in Brazil, Emmett almost got himself kidnapped because he kept flashing all this cash at a night club and when we left, these guys with masks and guns showed up to rob him. Emmett just laughed in the guy's face and threw the money at him. The guy got so pissed off he shot him and when the bullet didn't make a dent, they freaked out and left. We were lucky the Volturi didn't find out."

"The Volturi?" I questioned.

"They are sort of like the self-appointed kings of the vampire world. They enforce the laws. One of the biggest being you don't let humans know of our existence."

"What about Edward?"

"I worry about that; about him and Bella. If they found out it could be disastrous. I always have to keep an eye on Aro's decisions, just to see if he happens to send one of his minions this way."

"That must be tough, always having to look out for you family. Having them depend on you so much."

Alice got quiet; the sort of quiet that, if I closed my eyes, it's like she disappeared. "It is sometimes, but I'm used to it. We all depend on each other; it's what makes us a family."

Talking of family, it reminded me that my mom would be expecting me back for dinner. "I have to go soon. My mom is expecting me back."

"Ohh." This seemed to peak Alice back into reality.

"We can meet after school tomorrow if you want?"

"That… That sounds good." Alice stood at the line, her toes almost peaking over.

I stood at mine, dusting the dirt from my legs, neither of us giving an inch. It went unsaid, but I could tell she felt it, too – the pull. The only difference was I felt it in two directions; I just couldn't tell which was stronger.

"I really have to go."

"I know." Alice wrung her hands together then placed them by her sides.

I took tiny steps back, never taking my eyes off her face. I don't know if it was just in my mind but I felt her eyes begging me to stay. "I'll see you tomorrow." I nodded as I spoke, confirming my words. Increasing my steps until she dropped out of vision, I turned and started into a jog back home.

I couldn't wait until tomorrow.

**A/N Thanks for reading **


	7. Enough

**A/N – Hi everyone, I'm sorry to say that this might be the last post for a while. I don't want to stop the story but I'm going through some tough personal stuff and it's limiting my time and energy. Hopefully in a little while I can pick it back up again. **

Chapter 7 – Enough

I waited at the spot where we always met, at the exact minute the Forks High bell rang for the last time that day. I knew it wouldn't take her long to get here. It brought a smile to my face knowing she would run here first just to see me. I looked to my phone, checking the time, only thirty seconds having passed since the last time I checked. I shook my head, trying to get rid of this sudden nervousness. What was wrong with me? Was this the wolf again? It didn't feel like the wolf. I stretched out my arm, staring at my skin. I could see every wisp of hair but I couldn't imagine what ran underneath.

Minutes past; first five, then ten. I wondered where she could be. Was she alright? Did something happen? My whole body shook at the mere idea. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths in through my nose. She's probably fine… just running late.

When ten minutes turned into thirty, I stopped worrying and started getting pissed. We had agreed a time. The least she could do was call… but then, I hadn't given her my number, had I? I thought about going home. _I should go home_, I tried to convince myself, but I had already waited so long, what was ten more minutes? Okay, so I would wait ten more minutes and if she didn't show, I would go home. _I have never been stood up before_, I thought, randomly.

Before I could linger on the thought, there was a bristle in the leaves and all the birds flew from the trees. A scent that carried on the wind told me she was close and I didn't know whether to be relieved or pissed. I think I was both. Alice appeared in a blur, halting on the line like it was a force field stopping her in her tracks. I couldn't even say anything before she started babbling.

"I'm so sorry I'm late! There was this huge thing last night at the baseball field and Bella broke her leg and I had to help her in the shower after school."

I sucked on my teeth, wondering how to respond.

"There was this group of vampires and one of them tried to attack Bella. He and Edward got into a fight and Edward killed him. I mean, he didn't want to but he wasn't going to stop until he killed Bella."

"Are you okay?" I asked, cutting into the babble.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Ruined my favorite baseball jersey but other than that, I'm fine." Alice seemed truly upset about the loss of clothes but other than that she really did seem fine.

Alice still seemed a little manic, though. "It's okay, Alice. I should have given you my number so you could call." I told her my number there and then but she didn't write it down or put it in her phone. "Will you remember that?"

"Yeah, I have a great memory; it's a vamp thing," she shrugged.

"So, you play baseball?" I questioned, somewhat awkwardly.

"Yeah. But we only play every once and a while because, as you can tell, it usually ends badly."

"Yeah, I would say death is pretty bad." I crossed my arms but the death of an unknown vampire didn't seem to stir up any pity in me.

"Usually it just starts arguments. Edward and I always have to go on different teams because I can see who is going to win and then he reads my mind and keeps making decisions on how to change it by who he picks. Emmett always gets pissed at us for, 'ruining the game with our stupid, psychic brains.'" Alice used air quotes, apparently quoting Emmett's words.

"Sounds fun," I huffed out.

"You should see us play Monopoly."

I could only imagine the arguments that would start. "Is it normal for vampires to kill each other?" In the wolf world it seemed rather frowned upon.

"It's quite common, actually. When we turn, we lose a lot of our human abilities, or so I'm told. One of the other guys would probably be able to explain it better than me."

I looked into her eyes, noticing they were shades darker than yesterday. She kept her distance, not her usual pacing or insistence to move forward.

"Alice, I think I can…" I was about to say 'move closer,' but the sound of nearing footsteps threw me. I froze, ears pricked, as the four pounding footsteps suddenly turned into two.

Alice turned to the noise; she heard it too before I could say _run_. Paul appeared from behind me, his bare chest heaving, breath fogging the cold air. He looked between us silently as he sniffed the air.

"Leah! What are you doing with a leech?"

He looked between us again, noticing the lines on the ground, his features screwed up.

"Paul, it's not what it looks like." I didn't know exactly what it looked like.

"You've turned," he stated without question.

"I have, but I'm not joining the pack."

"You need to speak to Sam. Now." His tone darkened as he put forth his demand.

I could feel rage bubbling from his orders. "I don't have to do anything," I shot back.

Paul reached out, grabbing my wrist and yanking me back towards the treaty line. He was strong; stronger than me. I struggled in vain to get out of his grasp.

Alice stepped forward, coming towards us. "Hey, let her go! She doesn't want to go with you."

"Stay out of this, leech," he shot back.

We crossed the treaty line and Alice stood, rooted to the spot, looking on desperately as I struggled like a child in their parent's grasp. "Let me go, Paul." I used my free hand and slapped him loudly across the face. He let out a low growl, tightening his grasp and I dropped to my knees under his hold.

That had been enough; enough to make her risk her life. I watched her cross the invisible treaty line to come to my aid. She had no idea what she had done.

"Alice, don't!" I yelled.

Paul dropped my wrist, turning to Alice. They stared at one another for the longest second of my life.

"You crossed the treaty line!" Paul had the faintest glimpse of a smile as he spoke. He was happy the treaty was broken.

Paul shook violently before exploding forward, scraps of fabric lying behind him as he phased. Alice looked somewhat dazed and I didn't have time to act. I was behind him in a second, all the fear in my body bursting from my heart and sending me into wolf form. It happened in an instant and I felt nothing. I had no time to feel as I pounced on Paul's back, sticking my claws into his light brown fur and pulling him back. He let out a yelp, turning his mouth back to bite me and we latched on to each other. He threw me off him, instantly heading back for Alice. I screamed in my mind, _you can't, she's my imprint!_ But all that came out was a whimper and a bark.

"What?" Paul's voice spoke inside my mind. He had stopped his stalking and turned to look at me, his eyes connecting with mine as I once again heard his voice in my mind. "You imprinted on this _leech_?"

"Don't call her that!" I growled, my lips pulling back over my teeth.

"Sam's on his way. We have lots to talk about."

"You can't hurt her; she's protected by the laws."

"When the laws were written I don't think they had this in mind," he shot back, glancing back to Alice, his teeth exposed as he looked between us.

I turned to Alice, who seemed to have noticed Paul's abrupt stop. I walked towards her in my wolf form but as I got closer, I hesitated. There was an arm's length between us. She held out her petite hand and, like the animal I was, I nuzzled my face against it. Her hand was cold and her touch soothing. I could hear Paul growl behind me but I didn't care; I felt at home. I looked at Alice, as my wolf was eye level with her. She ran her two hands on the fur under my neck, smiling.

"You make a cute wolf," she laughed, as I ducked my head.

I flicked my head towards the woods, signaling it would be best if she left. "I understand, I should go." She kept her hands in my fur as she spoke again. "Will we see each other tomorrow? Bark once for yes."

I couldn't think of anything more demeaning in that moment. I nodded silently.

"I'll take that as a yes," She said for us both.

She slowly retracted one hand, staring down Paul with a glare as she did. It was a look I would never want to receive. I could hear Sam approaching quickly on all fours. I nudged Alice away and she took the hint, turning off into a run. Sam broke through the woods, his massive, black wolf form like the shadow of a monster.

"What's going on here?!" His voice invaded my mind. I replayed the scene in my head and I heard Paul replaying the part about how I called Alice my imprint.

"Leah, is this true?"

"Yes…"

"We need to have a council meeting." He spoke in an even tone. "Paul, shift back and start gathering people."

Paul ran off and Sam waited silently for a moment. "He's gone," he said inside my head. It was like my very worst nightmare.

"Can we phase back?"

"I don't like this anymore than you do, Leah, but you need to show me what you feel for the vampire. I need to know it's a true imprint."

How could I show him when I didn't even know? I played the moments in my head of when we met, when I hurt her and when I tried to stay away. "That real enough for you?"

"Yes. I can't believe you kept it from me for so long."

"I told you I didn't want to be part of the pack."

"You won't even give us a chance. You gave the vampire a chance but not your own people?" He sounded hurt.

"Sam," I sighed. "I don't know what to do. I can't live my life like this. I wasn't born to kill vampires."

"Let's just take this to the elders."

"They can't change the law; she is protected."

"We will see what happens." I had known Sam long enough to know when he didn't know something. That was exactly how he sounded right now and it made me shiver. "Follow me."

I followed Sam at a light run towards the community building. Paul was holding the side door open so it was big enough to let us in. We entered a room where people had already gathered. There was my mom, Billy Black, Emily, Quil and his mom, Embry and Paul. My mom approached me, holding out clothes and I took them gently in my mouth. She looked into my eyes with amazement.

"You can go into that other room and phase back."

"How do I do it?"

"You close your eyes and think about what makes you most human."

That seemed rather unhelpful as I padded into the empty room. I thought about being human and what made me human. What was so great about being human anyway? I closed my eyes and thought about Alice and how relieved I was when Paul stopped. I opened my eyes and I was standing, naked, with a pile of clothes neatly folded beside me on the floor. I threw them on and hurried back into the community room.

Billy Black was shaking his head as he continued to speak. "This has never happened before, that we know of." He looked to me and it was a mix of confusion and pity.

"She crossed the line; she broke the treaty. It means war," Paul declared and a few others agreed.

I cut in, moving into the middle of the circle. "The laws protect her. Right, Emily?"

I looked to my cousin for support as she clasped Sam's hand. "Leah is right."

Sam raised a hand, grabbing everyone's attention. "As a true imprint, Alice is exempt from the treaty. She may be on Reservation land."

"What if she hurts someone?" Quil's mother said.

"She won't," I stated, turning to Sam. "And what about her family?"

"They are not protected," Sam replied, as others let out a thankful sigh.

I guess it was the best I could hope for. "Laws only count for those who are actually a part of the pack," Paul spoke out.

Sam rubbed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Paul is correct." Sam looked exasperated. I could tell he was doing his best for me.

Was that my decision now: war or pack? I guess it was kind of inevitable.

"Of course she is a part of the pack," my mother said, giving Paul her best motherly tone.

"Okay." I held up my hands in surrender. "I'll join the pack."

"Good." Sam's gravely tone was laced with happiness. "You can report to me tomorrow morning for your mark and training."

Then the weirdest thing happened. Without any thought, I bowed my head and accepted his words. I looked to Sam and he seemed to have a pitying look, while Emily seemed truly happy. My mother seemed on the verge of tears for some odd reason.

"Can I leave now?" I asked Sam.

"Yes, everyone can leave. See you tomorrow."

I left silently, letting my footfalls fill my ears until I got home. Seth stood as soon as the door closed behind me.

"What happened?"

I ignored him, going to my room and slamming the door behind me before letting out a scream. I screamed until it hurt my throat and then I did it again. I let it fill the room until my lungs were sore and empty. My phone buzzed on the nightstand and a text popped up.

_Are you alright?_ – _Alice_

_I'm fine. I'll tell you about it tomorrow after school_ – _Leah_

I fell back onto the bed, pulling at my short tufts of hair. "Ugh," I grunted, kicking the wooden bed frame. _Why, God? Why did it have to be me?_

**A/N Thanks for reading **


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